So, we’re back.

After more than a year of grazing pastures and climbing roofs, the Goat staff is back. And by back, I mean we successfully secured our domain name again so we can continue to bring you a degenerate version of the news and share our obscure thoughts.  Many thanks to Nerine for forgetting to renew the Goat so we can get back.

We look forward to entertaining the four fans we have in 2013.  Thanks for believing in us!Image


Week In Pictures: Sept 8-15

Click picture for MSNBC week in pictures:

Ask The Editors: Mass Workplace Exodus?

Reader’s Question: I know there are at least two people (out of 20) quitting my team NEXT WEEK and there may be more in the pipeline.  I don’t wanna be left in the dust and I think I should make a move too.  There’s also a hiring freeze at my company and any left over work will have to be redelegated to the rest of us.  I already work late hours; what should I do?

Editor’s Answer: If you haven’t already, you should start aggressively looking for a new job.  It’s clear that somethings going on at your work that people don’t like OR there are greater opportunities out there causing people to leave.  Remember, if you’re lucky enough to get another job offer, it doesn’t mean you actually have to take it.  Job hunting only works in your favor: 1) It acts as a good insurance policy in case things get really bad, 2) It may allow you to negotiate your salary up if you can score a higher paying job.

There Are Better Ways to Start an Armenchick Rumor Labor Day Weekend

2 weeks before Olympics (on Gchat)

Me: Hi, Kastajian (last name changed to protect the innocent)

Kastajian: Hey what’s up?

Me: Nothing.  I was thinking we should start a rumor on the Booze Cruise about Armenchick.

Kastajian: Ha, why?

Me: Cuz it’s funny. We should tell people on the Booze Cruise we saw him in the hotel and he’s performing Sunday night.

Kastajian: lolol, that’s a great idea.

2 weeks later on Booze Cruise, I’m standing with Kastajian and a group of people:

Me: You know what’s crazy, I saw Armenchick in the Hyatt today and someone said he’s performing on Sunday night.

Group of girls: Really????

Kastajian: What? You’re lying.

Me: Wait, huh? No no, Armenchick (winking) is at the Hyatt.  I think he’s performing Sunday night.

Kastajian: Whatever.  I’m gullable usually, but I don’t believe that.


Conversations With Friends About the Economy

Friend: So should I invest in the stock market now?

Me: That’s a pretty loaded question.  You want me to predict where the stock market’s gonna be 6-12 months from now?

Friend: Yeah.

Me: So you want me to figure out what’s going to happen with the Eurozone, Greece, commodity prices, repatriation of corporate profits, the presidential election, taxes, real estate prices… you want me to predict all that and tell you where the economy is headed?

Friend: Yeah.

Me: How bout you finish your fucking beer and not ask me stupid questions.

Times when you shouldn't ask stupid questions.

Conversations With the Barista

12:34 pm today:

Barista: Hi, how are you today?

Me: Hi, Dan.

Barista: What can I get you?

Me: Dan, this coffee… I’m drinking too much…

Barista: Yeah, you’re here 3 times a day.  It’s pretty ridiculous.

Me: Yeah, I feel like this coffee is eating up my insides.  It’s getting out of control.  (Turn to my coworker) Michele, I feel like they should put a warning on this coffee to show people’s insides.

Michele: Like the cigarette ads, when they show people’s lungs?

Me: Yeah.

Barista: Yeah, that wouldn’t be good for business.

Countdown Eurozone: Approaching Greece’s Fate

Read it here.