CRICKET & DICK

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by K. Mass., The Happy Goat Political Correspondent

Jiminy Cricket and Dick Cheney have played similar roles in their respective careers — each playing the sidekick who has wound up guiding a more dim-witted counterpart.  Jiminy guided Pinocchio to make better decisions and become a real boy.  And Cheney guided Bush into waging an endless war, standing idle during Katrina, and defecating on habeas corpus.

Just recently, the Vice President was indicted for alleged abuse in a federal detention center.  Accused of influencing a privately contracted prison, as well as investing in private prison companies despite his government position (smells like Halliburton all over again), he has a hearing set for Monday when it will be determined whether the judge presiding over the case should stay on board.

Jiminy Cricket and Dick Cheney—American heroes.

Jiminy Cricket and Dick Cheney—American heroes.

Macy’s Knows How To RickRoll Too!

nor21Just in case you didn’t get a chance to see it…Macy’s did a fantastic job RickRolling the parade attendees on Thanksgiving!

Britney Spears’ Comeback

nor21Thank you.

WHO’S THE NEW BOSS?

guest_postBy: K. Mass., The Happy Goat Political Correspondent

As early as December 7, Tim Russert’s replacement on Meet the Press will be announced and the contenders include Gwen Ifill, David Gregory, Chuck Todd and Andrea Mitchell. Here’s where they stand:

Ifill (PBS): Parodied recently by Queen Latifah on SNL, Ifill has a book involving Barack Obama coming out on inauguration day (which may be the deal breaker).

Mitchell (NBC): a.k.a. Alan Greenspan’s wife and kisser of Hillary Clinton’s ass throughout the primaries, she’s a decent choice. Just recently, she got the first scoop on Clinton’s future as Secretary of State (wonder how).

Gregory (NBC): Upside: He’s qualified. Downside: He’s monotonous and infinitely boring.

Todd (NBC): Though he doesn’t measure up to Russert (no one does), he’s got the edge. He’s likeable, engaged and the go-to-guy on MSNBC for unbiased analysis. Let’s just hope, if he gets the job, he develops some balls.

Tim Russert, Chuck Todd, Andrea Mitchell and David Gregory.

From left to right: Tim Russert, Chuck Todd, Andrea Mitchell and David Gregory.

Queen Latifah on Saturday Night Live parodying Gwen Ifill as the moderator of the Vice Presdential Debate.

Queen Latifah on Saturday Night Live parodying Gwen Ifill as the moderator of the Vice Presdential Debate.

Sapp Loses DWTS Championship, Not Dignity

nor21Yeah yeah, you must of all heard by now. Mr. Warren Sapp was beat by none other than Brooke Burke for season 7’s DWTS trophy.

 

 

Uh, congrats.

Warren Sapp was one of the fastest fiercest and almost best player of the modern era. | Brooke Burke has boobs.

Warren Sapp was one of the fastest fiercest and almost best player of the modern era. | Brooke Burke has boobs.

Comcast Sticks It To 4th Floor Employees

nor21 Bah, humbug!” No, that’s too strong
‘Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year’s been a busy blur
Don’t think I have the energy…

Why the scroogey outlook for the most wonderful time of the year? Well, Comcast debuted a 15-minute Christmas show last week on the larger-than-life TV/wall in its Center City headquarters lobby, which is where I work.

This holiday show would be charming if it were not for the following:

  1. I didn’t sit on the floor directly above the big screen.
  2. The music wasn’t blasting where I’m pretty sure employees on the 23rd floor can kind of make out some sounds.
  3. If the video was not on a continuous loop each hour from now until New Year’s.

comcastic


Happy Slapsgiving.

From our family, to yours– have a blessed and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Now go slap your foe in the face.

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