The Puzzled Goat #3 – Solution

av-phil.jpgSorry this one’s a little late.

Last week’s puzzle was hard, apparently.  I heard a lot of complaints and only one (correct) answer.  The solution, which you may now kick yourself for not getting, is THIEF, with which you change the E to an F, then rearrange to spell FIFTH.

Congratulations to Aydzasban for getting it right.   Because I was unable to post on Sunday, there will be no fresh puzzle this week, The Puzzled Goat #4 will go up on Sunday, January 4th.

Nut-Job Uday Out-Shines Saddam Hussein

kevatarNothing says Christmas like a genocidal dictator.  But Saddam Hussein is not the reason you should watch HBO’s “House of Saddam” (if you haven’t already).  You should watch it for Saddam’s son Uday who, to borrow a phrase from my colleague, is “bat-shit crazy”.  Every scene Uday is in turns into a psycho-thriller and he inadvertently becomes the focal point of this mini-series.  You can think of him as the Alex P. Keaton of a sick and twisted “Family Ties”.

Between firing a gun in a crowded night club, to beating his father’s servant to death (on a whim), to swallowing a lethal handful of prescription drugs, this total nut job is what Whitney Houston is to “Being Bobby Brown”, a show that’s supposed to be about the man in the headline, but it’s really about the –other– unstable crackhead in the room.

Happy Holidays from The Happy Goat

nor21av-phil.jpgkevatar

 

 

 

 

Regardless of what or how you celebrate this end of December (I’m looking at you, Kwanzaa Hrag…) we here at the goat wish you a safe and happy holiday season.  As a sign of our gratitude for making this blog so successful this year, here’s a little something we put together to make you laugh (for a change).

elves

Very Merry (Sometimes Scary) Christmas Movies!

nor21Not all of you are fortunate enough to jet-set to stuffy ass Boca Raton, Florida for the holiday season. So while I’m rolling with ma’ homeys in the North (WPB) and the South (MIA), frolicking on the beach, hugging palm trees and shit, YOU guys can watch flicks from the NORAK recommended Christmas movie list.

In no particular order:

  1. Gremlins – If you think this is a feel good Christmas movie, thank your lucky stars they nixed plans for scenes in which Gremlins behead Billy’s mom and eat his dog.
  2. Die Hard 2 – Not to be confused with Die Hard.
  3. Love Actually– “I can feel it in my fingers, I can feel it in my toes”…can you feel it? Hugh Grant brings on the warms and the fuzzies any time of the year, but Christmas is his specialty.
  4. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation– Because Clark Griswold sometimes reminds me of my Nazar Amo…but then again, Arnold Schwarzenegger reminds me of my dad. It really makes no sense.
  5. Home Alone – “Buzz, your girlfriend…woof!”
  6. Elf – “I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.”
  7. Scrooged – Growing up, my brother and I had a habit of renting a single movie for the weekend and watching it over and over again. Along with Commando, Conan the Destroyer, and Red Sonja (huge Schwarzenegger fans), Scrooged was one of them. “We’re gonna need champagne for 250 people, and send the stuff that you send to me. Don’t send the stuff that I send to other people.”

There you have it. If you have any suggestions of your own…let us know!

Merry Christmas!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!!

Cruise Acting “Distractingly” Bad

nor21Tom Cruise should really stick to flying paper planes. Today, the Associate Press gave a SCATHING review of his performance in Valkyrie — simply put, his acting was described to be “distractingly bad”.  They also said that without him, the movie is actually great.  Biggest name turns into weakest link.  Goodbye?  Not so fast!

Cruise still gets the last laugh by nabbing a Golden Globe nomination this year for playing foul-mouthed and furry studio boss, Les Grossman, in Ben Stiller’s Tropic Thunder.

Cruise impresses more critics playing a Jew than uhm...uh..being in Valkyrie.

Cruise impresses more critics playing a Jew instead of a German.

Meat Market

nor21Ladies, are you sick of meeting complete and total losers? Think you might be at a point in your life where you might consider dating someone more along the lines of your own gender? Then it’s your lucky day because The Happy Goat has just unearthed some of the world’s most captivating and brilliant men…and we know just the spot to find them!

During the week of January 11, 2009, the embodiment of man candy can be found on the Costa cruise line’s Costa Fortuna when it sets sail to the Western Carribean. Interestingly enough, an Armenian Heritage Cruise is scheduled to take place on board that same week. While we at THG are not at liberty to say if these men all happen to be of Armenian descent, or if they are single for that matter, we do know one thing—one of them wants to make you his Carribean Queen.

Sold? See you there.

He'll steal your honey like he stole your bike.

He'll steal your honey like he stole your bike.

[Image via Embob007]

Stressed About the Holidays?

nor21Not as much as this chick. Psycho sorority girl here is bawling her eyes out after setting off the fire alarm at school. Why the devastation? She set it off while making fire extinguisher “snow” angels.

Elise, you’re right, God does hate you…that’s why this video is now all over the Internet.