Ask The Editors: Mass Workplace Exodus?

Reader’s Question: I know there are at least two people (out of 20) quitting my team NEXT WEEK and there may be more in the pipeline.  I don’t wanna be left in the dust and I think I should make a move too.  There’s also a hiring freeze at my company and any left over work will have to be redelegated to the rest of us.  I already work late hours; what should I do?

Editor’s Answer: If you haven’t already, you should start aggressively looking for a new job.  It’s clear that somethings going on at your work that people don’t like OR there are greater opportunities out there causing people to leave.  Remember, if you’re lucky enough to get another job offer, it doesn’t mean you actually have to take it.  Job hunting only works in your favor: 1) It acts as a good insurance policy in case things get really bad, 2) It may allow you to negotiate your salary up if you can score a higher paying job.

The Top 5 Songs To Strip To, According to THG Staff

THG staff recently decided to put their intelligence and wit to good use and came up with a pretty incredible list – the top five best songs to strip to.  We hope this will be particularly helpful to all our friends who are seriously considering a change in career to the art of exotic dancing.

  1. Closer – Nine Inch Nails
  2. Dirty Diana – Michael Jackson
  3. Cherry Pie – Warrant
  4. Crazy – Aerosmith
  5. Touch Myself – Divinyls

He’s Just a Little Guy

Now that the weekend is almost here, sit down and think about how you’re going to simplify your time away from work for the next two days. Perhaps you can take a cue from these guys – they seem to know a thing or two about the perfect lazy day agenda:

You’re Spelling and Grammer Pissis Me Off, To.

grammar-police

I’d be lying if I said that poor grammar and spelling doesn’t get my goat (no pun intended).  I get it, no one is perfect…but you would think that with American education tucked under most of our belts, we would have the ability to determine when to use to opposed to TOO.  Not the case–for many of you!! Tsk tsk…

College educated?  Business professional?  Uh, wedding vendor?! What the hell!!! Get with the program!!!

Here is a list of the ten most common mistakes I come across:

1) Its vs. It’s It’s is not a possessive form, and always means it is or it has.  Its is a possessive pronoun meaning of it or belonging to it.

Examples:
I can’t believe it’s been like three weeks since we saw a PhilZ post.
A 1989 Nissan Maxima is known for its ability to never die.

2) You’re vs. YourYou’re means you are and your is the possessive form of you.

Examples:
Anthony, you’re horrible.
Your mama is so stupid that it took her two hours to watch 60 minutes.

3) Misuse of apostrophes to indicate possessives – Sometimes they’re left out, and sometimes they’re used when they’re not required.  Either way, I die a little bit when you use it incorrectly.

4) To vs. Too vs. Two – Too is an adverb meaning excessively, to an excessive degree, or in addition. To is a preposition that introduces the destination or receiver of an action OR to is a necessary partner with an infinitive verb, which is the simplest form of a verb (i.e. to poop).  Two…is a number (2).

Example:
Too hot to handle, too cold to hold.  They called the Ghostbusters and they’re in control.

5) Palette vs. Palate – A color palette is different from having a refined taste palate.

6) i.e. vs. e.g. vs e.g.ei.e. means “in other words” and e.g. means “for example”.  Most people use i.e. when they should use e.g. (Ok fine, I was totally guilty of this one up until recently!).  e.g.e is the nickname of a gentleman that lives in Philadelphia.

7) There vs. Their vs. They’re: Use there when referring to a place.  Use their to indicate possession. And they’re is a contraction of the words they and are. It can never be used as a modifier, only as a subject (who or what does the action) and verb (the action itself).

Example:
They’re all gonna’ laugh at you!!!
What is a horse shoe? What does a horse shoe do? Are there any horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?
Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It’s the coolest.

8 ) I vs. Me I is the first person singular subject pronoun, which means that it refers to the person performing the action of a verb.  Me is an object pronoun, which means that it refers to the person that the action of a verb is being done to, or to which a preposition refers.

Examples:
I am too sexy for this car, too sexy for this car, too sexy by far.
Ani J and I went looking for acorns, because she is a squirrel.
Ok, meet me at the back of the room. I’ll be the guy waiting to say I told you so.

9) Comma Splice – A comma splice is when you join two sentences with a comma, but they each make sense as independent sentences.

Example:
It is five in the mornin’, can I smell your…hand?

10) Adieu vs. Ado – And with that lesson in grammar, I bid you adieu (goodbye) vs. Without further ado, let’s get this party started, sonnnnn!

nor21

My Personal Hell On An Hourly Basis

nor21Not too long ago, I wrote about the Comcast Center “sticking it” to 4th floor employees (me) by unveiling its Holiday Spectacular show. It’s been a little over two weeks now since the show has been running at the top of each hour (or sometimes twice an hour just because), and I’m about to lose my mind!!! There are three more weeks of this to go.

Needless to say, it’ll make me feel a whole heck of a lot better to give you a sneak peek of what I hear all day, 5 days a week. Look at the screen and imagine an angry little Norak sitting right above it at her computer, festering about the volume. Ho, ho, HORRIBLE!